The M square

Of all the tribes of the zodiac, Sagittarius is most skilled at not trying too hard. That isn't to say that you're lazy or lax. What I mean is that when it's time for you to up the ante and push toward your goal with more force and determination, you know how to cultivate a sense of spaciousness. You've got an innate knack for maintaining at least a touch of cool while immersed in the heat of the struggle. Even when the going gets tough, you can find oases of rejuvenating ease.
It is always rather strange how a human mind does not want to accept the mere facts and clings to a hope. A hope that acts a guiding beacon at times and yet becomes the biggest nemesis of life. It makes you forgive and when you know you are being cheated upon, you tend to believe otherwise. Life comes in technicolour my friend, sometimes good and sometimes ugly. What has happened in the last year was summed in one nice long paragraph, how I had faltered, how I was the culprit and how I was the devil. It did open my eyes to the fact that, never ever get in to someone else’s problem, because it’s just not worth it.. You do not need someone else’s pain to screw up your life, because when you are in pain no one ever will come forward and say, “Sid, here I am, let me help you.”
I should be feeling angry, but does anger solve anything. The only thing it ever does is to break that bond with your spiritual self. The person you are, the person you are trying to become. I do know that when you love someone, you tend to protect the relation but when that same person hits you in the balls, you tend to double up. Then off course the theory of full red circle comes in to play. What you do unto others will eventually come back to you. What you did to Priyanka came back and hit me hard in the place where it hurts more.
Well, somehow everything seems to fall in to place now. The pieces of the puzzle are finally making sense. It was a good decision not to meet her, because while the ultimate revenge was being planned to finally put me in to an asylum, I did stop dead in my tracks and I knew what was happening, only too naïve to believe it being true. What is sad is to take revenge, someone can actually convince themselves of what is right and what is wrong, when they know it themselves where they stand eventually. Sad but true and still, I can just stand on the edge of the cliff, extend my hand. To grab it is the only thing someone has to do and if they decide to jump, well, all you can hope is they meet a quick demise.
It is rather strange that today is the day when I move on in life. Living a dream and not able to fulfil it could have its disadvantages. First of them however is, you need to set a goal in life. What do I love the most? The analysis is rather difficult but then the choice however rather clear. Looking back, what excites me the most? What caused the rift between all my relations. It was money. So it is money that excites me. Nothing wrong with it and then it’s me. So the two things I love the most is me , myself and money . The “M” square.
Yeah all right, I was taken for a ride. So what? Do I care? Come to think of it practically, I don’t . Come to think of it emotionally , I do. “Hello, not again.” the question remains would I extend my hand to that person ever again in life. Kind of difficult to answer. Just like in the game of chess we have to make moves in life and yet in life, we do not know which pawns are black and which are white.
I have made my moves and since they turned out to be black, I do not regret it, because I know the next move is going to be white. It is elusive; Lot of time and effort wasted but goal finally has become clear. The moves are clear. What gives me most happiness is clear. It is good to have a single track mind and while it was engaged in the pursuit of pain ever, it is time to pursue happiness. Happiness in the pursuit of “M” square.
Today as I write this, I do not know, if I am ever going to see her or talk to her ever again but if the world is a small place, we will bang in to each other in the strangest of places, least expected. The only difference will however be “M” square. No one can falter me off the goal till I decide to do so and I really don’t care how long and how difficult the road ahead might be. My single track mind is set on the objective and the objective is my own personal wellbeing. No one can or will ever play with my mind again.
The truth is however all you had to say the three magic words “I moved on” and in all the world no one had to suffer, no bad feelings and every one would have been happy.